BECAUSE WHY NOT?

Why Blondie, why?

Because I had to.

Because I had to share my thoughts.

Because I had already been sharing them unsolicited.

Because they weren't always mine.

Because I needed others to help me spark these thoughts, and maybe by sharing mine, I will spark a thought in someone, changing their life the way my sparked thoughts changed mine.

So, here we are!

A place where I can share those thoughts, and you come (consenting!) to read them. A place where I can provide all of it, the thoughts that have changed me for the better, including those that send me into existential episodes, especially those that would and will, piss off (the right) people. A place where I can provide a spark for your thoughts.

I don't know what switched in my generation and younger: Covid, Aquarius, Pluto, the end of an era, but we are breaking the cycles that kept our ancestors detained in unhappiness for so long.

We saw what it was like for the world to stop. We got the chance to breathe, allowing us to reevaluate what we actually wanted out of life and what was simply a performance. A performance on life that we were told we had to perform and that we did because we never really got a chance to stop and wonder why we were doing what we were and why we wanted what we did. We got a chance to do something that our parents never did: the ability to stop and see what life was like outside of our bubble.

Technology has helped with this. It's a magical thing as much as it isn't; all great things are double-edged swords. Technology has allowed different social groups to peek into concepts they have never been introduced to, allowing for a new understanding of our world and, ultimately, of ourselves. One thing I hope you can take away from this blog is the ability to question everything, a gift I received with the help of many people who have come into my life, specifically by listening to what they have to say. Another thing you should take away is that you can learn something from everyone, even those with whom you disagree. Especially them.

Technology is a prime resource for doing this, primarily social media. Look at TikTok for reference; it brings new viewpoints on uncharted topics prompting discussions that we would usually be scorned for taking part in, in turn, allowing, but mostly forcing, us to start questioning. In it, we discover how little we actually know about ourselves… Or that no one really knows much about anything in this patriarchal society. (More to come on this at www.blondiehasthoughts.com!)

So when one of my moms called me five days before my twenty-third birthday and told me it was time to get my life together, to stop fucking around, I wasn't shocked. Because that's how my parent's generation was taught to live, the instruction laid out in the game of life. Go to college, get a job, get married; construct your life off the foundation you built in your earlier 20s and never give attention to your wondering thoughts, the whys, and shamed by society's standards if you break that mold.

Our parents never got the chance to put themselves in situations that would allow them to find the answers to these critical questions of life (the whys), never getting the opportunity for those questions even to be brought to their attention. Or in my mom's words, they never got the chance to fuck around.

This is how society has been living since the start of civilization, in a cycle of working and suppressing, never venturing out of the comfort of their echo chambers, hoping that one day, they will be able to stop, to rest. That life's a bitch, and then you die. We've all been conditioned to have our life figured out before we have even figured out who we are, which (controversial take) is the foundation of everything in life.

We shovel massive amounts of money, which usually leaves us in debt, and spend countless hours towards school to gain a job in a field we're supposed to like and enjoy for the rest of our lives. We find and start platonic and romantic relationships with people that are supposed to last a lifetime, some who we might one day mix our DNA with to create a whole living, thinking organism. And if we don't follow this path or branch out of our societal circles, we’re shamed or ostracized, only welcomed back into “society” if we meet a certain standard of living.

As far as I'm concerned, those who choose the latter path are much better off than those who follow the traditional route, as the former relies on people making impactful decisions willy-nilly, with no real thought behind their choices. And sure, you might think you know what you want, but do you know why you want those things? Because that's usually the Jenga block that brings the tower down.

Twenty-three, three to four years into adulthood, is not the time for anyone to be doing anything but figuring out who they are, fucking around.

Suppose you never question anything; you never ask why. Never dig deep into who you are or broaden your horizons outside of your comfort zone. Odds are you'll end up on the path society has laid for you. Which inherently leads you down the path of what your parents laid out for you and what their parents laid out for them. The cycle of generational trauma and the old saying, "god, I'm turning into my mother.” It's all a surefire way to hate your life: your job, spouse, and kid.

See, I never wanted kids. I've said it my entire life, and if I were to have kids, I'd adopt, but even then, that was something I said to get everyone off my back.

"I said the same thing when I was your age. You'll change your mind."

The people who say that they also never wanted kids until they reached a certain age are usually those who shouldn't have had kids and probably would have been happier if they didn't. But we've grown up in a society that perpetuates the idea that it's normal to hate your kids. (And your spouse.)

Speaking on behalf of women, we've been made to feel that we are only good for one thing, providing a man and the world with children. That being alone without a spouse, but specifically, a husband, is a punishment no one would wish on their worst enemy, but never having kids? You might as well just die now.

“Who will take care of you when you're elderly? Who will you celebrate the holidays with? How will you fill the endless void that is time?”

I don’t know, Debra. With friends? With some hobbies? With the mass amount of money I’ve collected from not having to pay for another human being? It's not that "your biological clock went off, and the maternal instincts kicked in." You've been pushed into a way of life.

It makes sense that we (men, women, everyone in or not in between.) all get forced into the idea of marriage and kids at some point in our life with the way society pushes stigmas onto us. If you need a reason to question everything, why have we been told forever, in one context or another, that single, childless women are the most unhappy subcategory? The facts say otherwise. So why are the masses told otherwise?

If it weren't for me being forced to face my reality, I would have ended up one of those miserable women who hate their life. I would've married a man whose age, in society's mind, is normal for me to marry, but, in reality, the age gap is creepy. I would have succumbed to my parents' and the patriarchy's wish for me to have kids. I'd probably end up working in an industry I hate and waiting until old age off-ed me, or I did.

Because that was what I had been taught to do, told to do. Get through life fast and never question why because doing so would take up too much time, slow me down, pull me off the path laid out for me, keeping me from achieving the societal markers of success.

Instead, I met people who made me question everything and everyone. And I learned new perspectives on life and, in turn, who I was and how I didn't want to live the life paved for me anymore. And the only way I found those people was by fucking around, letting myself be open to new experiences and ideas.

This isn't to say that anyone who wants to be married with kids is damaged or that anyone who doesn't think like me is necessarily wrong. It's simply to propose the question of why; why to the things you want and believe, so that when you do one day act on those desires and beliefs, you know that it's a hundred percent true, hundred percent you, with no underlining, unknown factors in play.

Because I'm sure, many others follow an unknowingly set path, one that would change if they started asking why; just in need of a slight push from someone, maybe even a fake blonde with strong opinions, to trigger the necessary thoughts that will break the cycle and lead them down a path of their own choosing.

SO WELCOME!

This blog is my way of continuing my journey of getting to know myself and the world while possibly forcing you to get to know yourself too. If you're like me and you live off of rage, then you also live to prove people wrong as well. Wrong about you (me), about life, and especially the notion that life is inherently miserable, and the first step to fixing that is to point out the problems and make others aware of them so they, too, can change their lives and be fucking happy.

So here's to fucking around and being happy.