WHEN HARRY MET SALLY

(Trigger Warning: Sever Mental Health and Effects)

Let me confess: I love rom-coms with all of my heart.

If you had told me that I would one day admit this out loud, I would have called you a liar! I wasn't like other girls; I hated romance and girly shit. You couldn't have caught me dead watching one of those films. But like most haters, if you had snuck into my room late at night and taken me by surprise, you probably would have seen a rom-com on my tv and found me to be the actual liar.

I've always loved rom-coms, even before puberty hit or I knew what the concept of love actually was. They have been there for me during some of the worst moments of my life, never during heartbreak, though; cult documentaries were reserved for that. Rom-coms were for something far worse; when I was having a mental health crisis and couldn't get out of bed.

Like most tragic stories, this one started the summer going into my sophomore year of high school. At the age of fifteen, I began experiencing a series of month-long panic attacks, a saga that would pop up randomly throughout my life and that I would later come to call my "nervous breakdowns."

On the second night of the first series of panic attacks, I sat in my mother's room watching TV, trying to calm the pain in my stomach that had started all of this. I was flipping through channels when I landed on a movie. On the screen was a girl and a dollhouse, both locked in a closet in an attempt to escape a birthday party and the embarrassment inflicted by the popular girls who had crashed it. A rom-com was not something I allowed myself to watch in a public setting, nor did I allow myself to enjoy them publicly due to my fear of being labeled as a basic, white girl. But 13 Going On 30 was on, and I needed something to distract myself from my spinning thoughts. I can tell you the exact scene that was on when I came to on the floor of my mother's bathroom, having blacked out from the intensity of a panic attack. Jennifer Gardner was doing the Thriller dance. I watched that movie on repeat every night until I was put on anti-depressants, and the panic attacks finally stopped (for a bit.).

This became a tradition; I’d pick a rom-com and dedicate it to that specific episode of panic attacks, riding them out with the soothing tale of a happy ending and upbeat music masking my loud thoughts. To date, I have watched 10 Things I Hate About You over fifty times, leaving a Kat Stratford imprinted on my soul.

Though the brain is funky, and mine has, personally, connected these movies to the circumstances of the times that I watched them, rom-coms have found a place in my heart, even before I started using them as a coping mechanism. One of my favorite movies growing up, and one that also imprinted on me, was The Parent Trap, the Lindsey Lohan version, of course. (Long Live Lindsey Lohan!) I remember one of my moms showing me the movie Legally Blonde in elementary school and saying that if I were to look up to anyone, I should look up to Elle Woods. That statement obviously deeply rooted itself in my brain and resurfaced later in my life.

During my preteen years, I would stay up late, once my parents were asleep, to watch rom-coms on Bravo. I thought I was so sly, recording them on my DVR to watch later at night so I could delete the recording before my parents found it the next day. At twenty-three, I can now acknowledge the resentment I had for rom-coms and the shame I felt from enjoying them as internalized misogyny.

Now that I am older and have processed (some) of my shit, I can also acknowledge how much these movies impacted my personality and how much I tried to hide that. They helped shape me into who I am today and saved me, so I had the time to turn into this girl.

The most important point of this post, though, is they don't make rom-coms like they did in the 90s and early 00s. If anyone says otherwise, they, too, have internalized misogyny, and it's time to face the demons.

Petition to bring back the 90s vibe rom-com! I can see them on the horizon, coming back to us! Jenny Han is saving this generation of movies and TV, giving the film industry the inspiration it needs with her books. The Summer I Turned Pretty saved my soul and got me through my fourth case of COVID-19 (Get vaccinated!). Also, fucking shame on Netflix for fucking up To All the Boys I Loved Before. They had it all, the fantastic book and the massive budget, and they went and ruined it with fucking Noah Centino. I can't even pretend for the sake of the imagination that he's charming enough to be the love interest in anything. Sorry, not really sorry. Also, free advice to all media corporations, American Horror Story TV show format but Sarah Dessen's edition; run me my check later.

But alas, we wait; until the break of the rom-com dawn shines on us once again, all we can do is rewatch these masterpieces and bask in the glory that is their fantastic soundtracks, the killer of all great beasts, putting everyone and anyone in a loving, dovey, upbeat mood.

So here is my take on a rom-com soundtrack!

Let's set the mood:

Picture this, you are seventeen (because girls (and boys!) are always seventeen in these things ;)), and it's the last day of your junior year. The halls are louder than usual, everyone is moving a little faster, and there's a faint scent of sunscreen in the air. None of the teachers seem to care that some kid is tossing a football down the hall or that the sports team has taken this opportunity to play tackle football.

You and your friends are headed to someone’s car, chatting about your plans for the last summer before you're senior year. You just got a summer job at the local movie theatre and feel this will be the best summer yet. You all pile in; just before pulling out of the parking lot, your friend plugs her phone into the aux and turns on this playlist. Your rom-com is about to begin.

( Can you tell I wrote fanfiction on Wattpad?)